Pittsford Paranormal Investigator Survives Her Second Near Fatal Car Crash, Remains Adamantly ‘Not At Fault’

Rochester, NY- When Jennifer Landis was 21 years old the spirit of a familiar but evil presence possessed her while she was driving southbound on route 590. She told police that the car filled with the aroma of a distillery and her vision began to blur; as she lost control of the wheel and veered into the left lane, hitting the guard rail and swerving back into traffic. Jennifer told police at the scene that this was her first supernatural experience, and from that day on she would devote her life to investigating the paranormal.

“I felt groggy and dizzy,” Ms. Landis said, referring to the accident 20 years ago. “I was driving home after partying, I mean… uh… studying at a friends house and I became overrun with the urge to cry over an empty pint of ice cream and call all of my ex boyfriends”.

Jennifer Landis built her long standing paranormal career after this terrifying experience. She has investigated hundreds of paranormal claims throughout Western New York with an astounding record of absolutely zero supernatural activity. That is, until late Saturday night when she was again returning home from a friends house and she lost control of her car for the second time.

Police Officer and Skeptic Prick Craig Downs was hesitant to believe her story, however. He honestly believed that Jennifer was under the influence of alcohol and lying to police about having supernatural abilities, like a skeptic prick.

“[Jennifer] was clearly driving while intoxicated”, said the prick. “She stumbled out of her car screaming ‘I’m psychic bitch, don’t touch me’. She could barely stand, the car reeked of alcohol, and when I asked her to take a field sobriety test she just kept saying ‘can’t, too possessed’ and ‘not at fault, bitch. You can’t touch this'”.

The skeptic prick went on to say “I mean, how fucking gullible are you people”.

No one will ever know what happened to Jennifer on those terrifying nights. All we can say is, fuck that skeptic prick.

 

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