Rochester, NY- Ted Hannibal has had a long day at work and he just wants to get home. The drive down 490 east generally isn’t too bad, but today he barely made the ride home alive. We sat down with Ted to get the whole story. Here is our full interview.
Inner Loop: Hello Ted.
Ted: Hello….What’s your name?
Inner Loop: We are known as one. You may call us legion.
Ted: Okay…Well, like I was saying earlier, as I was driving home, the sun started beaming directly into my eyes, it was really frustrating, but I couldn’t decide if I should flip my visor down or just deal with it like a man. I mean have you ever driven with the sun in your eyes? It’s impossible?
Inner Loop: We have driven with the sun in our eyes, we also driven into the sun at a speed that no man will ever be able to understand, even god in his infinite wisdom baffles in the background as we speed past his throne.
Ted: Oh, okay. Well I decided to flip my visor down, I felt like it would be the safe move to make, so I wouldn’t be any other drivers on the road in danger. I had an uncle of mine die from a bee flying into his glasses while he was driving, its scary what can happen in a moment.
Inner Loop: We know all too well of the moments you humans take for granted, your life is nothing but a speck in the infinite ocean of time and you take so much for granted, maybe one day your eyes will be opened to the spiritual realm, but until then the mask of blindness will cover your eyes.
Ted: Is this interview over? I’m getting kind of weirded out, I don’t really think this story is that interesting, to be honest I was surprised you even considered interviewing me. So, I think I’m going to get going now.
LEGION: You are not going anywhere Ted. We have seen your sins and we have judged you.
Ted: What the hell are you talking about?
LEGION: WE HAVE WATCHED YOU SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME TED, YOU HAVE CAUSED MUCH SUFFERING TO OTHERS, BUT THAT IS NOW COMING TO AN END. WE ARE YOUR JUDGE. WE ARE YOUR JURY. WE ARE YOUR EXECUTIONER.
Ted: Get away from me!!! HELP!!
Ted made it safely out of this interview and had a nice human dinner with his nice human family and apologized for all of his sins.