Rochester, NY- With the opening of their brewery soon, a lot of questions are being asked about the Three Heads Brewing. What kind of questions you ask? Well some are asking things like “When will they open up?”, “Will they have beer there?” While these are all standard questions, here at The Inner Loop, we only have one question. Why do the owners of Three Heads Brewing only have one head when they claim to have three? After years of investigation and taking acid trips in the woods, we finally have the answer.
As we all know 3HB is one of the best beers to make its way into the Rochester scene, so good that we simply cannot believe that only one mortal human with one mortal head could have created it! Yet, that’s what they claim. The owners, Dan Nothnagle, Todd Dirrigl, Brian Johnson and Geoff Dale are all just simple humans with one head. Not the three-headed interdimensional god that shoots acid from its eyes and can change time with a single snap of his fingers. That is the kind of owner of 3HB we imagined.
As we all cut our hands in unison and took the special mushrooms in the highland park last thursday, we made a vow that we would not leave until we had the answer to the age-old questions of 3HB. As I was wandering through the woods, a tiny fairy spoke to me through my inner eye and told me the truth, what a glorious truth that was my friends! He lifted me high into the heavens and we sat on the backs of grizzly bears and floated down the rivers of pale ales and IPAS, we drank to our hearts delight and sang the songs of his people! It was there he told me why the owners of 3HB only have one mortal head. The answer was so simple. He said….
*Editors Note*
The writers at this point started vomiting excessive amounts of blood from every orifice on his body, he fell into a nearby lake and was presumed to be eaten by the beavers that live down there.
Dont do drugs kids. Just drink some Three Heads Beer.