Penfield NY – Josh Greene was enjoying a relaxing drive with his friend Robert Alton last Wednesday when they got themselves into a bit of trouble. Driving down I-590, Robert decided to pull out his brand new smoking pipe to enjoy a healthy dose of Rochesters finest sticky-icky (A California 5 out of 10).
It was then that some concerned drivers and passengers that had witnessed the endeavor decided to change their condescending, passive aggressive glances into a full blown NarcFest 3000.
Officer Bryan Schnyder was the first to give a shit about the reports. Since he wasn’t getting any at home, he decided it would be fun to hunt these boys down and intimidate them long enough to see if they’d piss themselves. It was either that or stare blankly at the road signs and wonder how Rhonda has been spending so much time at spin class and hasn’t lost any weight.
Upon seeing the flashing lights in the rear view, Robert decided to act quickly. He looked over with the eyes of a scared man and a confident wombat and told Josh to ‘trust’ him. Quickly, he opened up a compartment in his weed pouch and pulled out a 3 week old Italian BMT from Subway. He opened the sandwich and put all of the weed inside, and opened the Subway bag and hid all of his paraphernalia inside.
When questioned about the contraband, Josh remained silent and poise, while Robert decided to take a more forward approach. The young man repeated the phrase “We ain’t toasten fat blunts, yo. Just these kush subs.”
The officer realized the kids clearly had social disabilities, and decided not to further the investigation. He then turned all of his efforts toward Bret, and that cheating whore Rhonda.