5 Reasons Team Valor Is Straight Trash

Rochester, NY-  PokemonGo has taken the world by its sweaty little hands and is refusing to let go! Once you reach level 5 in the game, you have a choice to make. Which team are you going to choose, Team Instinct? Team Mystic? Or Team Valor? The choice is easy. Team Mystic. Yet, some unfortunate few belive that Team Valor is the best team. We’re here to dispute that. Here are five reasons Team Valor is straight trash.

  1. Their logo is stolen from the hunger games– I mean have you seen it? Where is Katniss everdeen when you need her to send an arrow straight through the heart of the plagiarist who said that would be the logo for Team Valor. Be original Team Valor, if you’re going to be an awful team, at least be orginial.
  2. They’re the “Bros” of the Pokémon world- You know those guys who based their confidence on their beer pong skills? That’s Team Valor. These guys will spend all there stardust and candy on evolving their Pidgeot, which they aptly named “PussyPidegon”. No one likes this team.
  3. My Bitch Ex-Girlfriend is on that team- Does this even need explaining? Of course she would, the only thing keeping my ex from being a straight demon out of hell is the fact she didn’t have horns coming out of her skull. With enough time, I’m sure it would show.
  4. Donald Trump openly supports them- When he’s not busy hating on Islams and shouting racist slurs, he’s playing pokemonGo and battling gyms in the honor of Team Valor. The only Pokémon he uses are “Raticates” because it reminds him of his children.
  5. They steal from the homeless–  Homeless Joe? Yeah, he was robbed by a group of kids from Team Valor. Do you really need anymore reasons to understand this Team is consisted of the scum of the earth?

 

*Editors Note*

We also have word that Team Instinct is actually just a bunch of 7 year olds who stole their moms I-pad.

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Author: Colonmichael2020

Writer, comedian, barista and someone who takes time out his day to bring you things I find important. BE GONE FROM MY PRESENCE!

7 thoughts on “5 Reasons Team Valor Is Straight Trash”

  1. XD I’m team valor and I use literally anything I want and distribute stardust between six pokemon.

    The teams all around the world are killing people, not just team valor…

    But this was still funny to read because it was more of a rant

    Like

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