585’s Longest Voting Line Actually People Still Waiting For Lilac Fest Kettle Corn

ROCHESTER, NY– Hand-in-hand with the great tradition of voting this country has been the great tradition of Local News stations finding and reporting on the longest lines to vote. “Because, you know, news and shit” says local news producer Jen Johnson.

Rochester polling station prepared as best they could for the record numbers of registered voters and first time voters casting their ballots in this election, and it turns out, they did a pretty great job!

“We looked all over the place and couldn’t find a single file line anywhere in Rochester. We started to get worried that we might actually have to cover something news worthy. But it was right when we lost hope that we drove past Highland Park” said Johnson.

Unfortunately for the News Team, it turns out this line in Highland Park was not for the polling station nearby but still a residual line of people waiting for their kettle corn from the Lilac Festival.

“Please kill me. I have been waiting here since May 21st. I am so hungry. Why does it take so long to stir popcorn in liquid diabetes?” said Tom Bosstone, 24, who looked particularly gnarly.

When asked who he was voting for Tom simple said “Please just kill me. For the love of god. Also, probably Trump.”

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Author: Colonmichael2020

Writer, comedian, barista and someone who takes time out his day to bring you things I find important. BE GONE FROM MY PRESENCE!

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