Man Who Sent Dick Pic Over Facebook Messenger Doesn’t Understand “Satire”

Rochester, NY- Keith Edmond is what many would describe as a man who enjoys the simpler things in life: a glass of red wine, sunsets over High Falls, and sending pictures of his erect penis to women over Facebook messenger.

Recently, Keith discovered a number of news articles and videos that have confused him greatly. Articles about Trump making secret deals with the illuminati, police switching to commemorative bullets for Fredrick Douglas, and debate videos where the candidates lip sync Brittany Spears instead of debating.

After snapping his newest dick pic to smash out over Facebook messenger, Keith mentioned how “Nobody is talking about this weird stuff,” looking at many articles and commenting “I can’t believe this is real!!!”

“I just don’t get it”, he says, re-notching his belt to cover his putrid member, “Like all these articles and videos are out there saying all these crazy news things, and I’m like, ‘are these real?’ and people are like ‘Naw Keith, they’re jokes’ and I’m all like, ‘I don’t get it man’. Oh shit, I forgot that this bitch needs to see my dick.”

He then undid his pants again and took a picture of his penis.

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