Historic Day as White Man is selected 1st overall for Cobb Hill Pick-Up Basketball Game

Rochester,NY- On a sunny Saturday afternoon on May 22nd, Blake Holfman, a 28 year old Insurance Adjuster from the Park Ave area made history at the Cobbs Hill Basketball Court.  For the first time ever, a white man has been picked first for a pick-up basketball game at Cobbs Hill Park.

The historic moment shocked the amateur sports world and according to sources close to Holfman, paved the way for aspiring amateur athletes everywhere.  “This is a major step for white guys everywhere who deep down believe that ball is life,” Holfman commented.  “But there are still changes that need made.”  Holfman says that he sees it every day.  “Every time a white dude steps onto the court with a group of black guys to shoot some hoops, they’re putting themselves out there,” said Blake. ”People get called names all the time that might not sound racist but, deep down, hurt the most.” Some of the more popular names white guys get called are things like Casper, Frosty, Rice Cracker and Mulletard, just to name a few.  Holfman states “Casper is the worst one; I get called Casper all the time. Who would want to get named after some wimpy ghost?”

Holfman isn’t done yet though, just because he got picked 1st once doesn’t mean he can stop.  “I’m not doing this for me anymore,” he said, “I’m out here doing this for everyone who’s ever been called a Larry Bird, a Kevin Love or a Chandler Parsons.”  According to sources close to the game, white guys unfairly get stereotyped based on their looks all the time.  For example, a tall, lanky, white guy with long flowy hair will get called Dirk, after Maverick’s center  Dirk Nowitzki, but their game might look more like that of a Draymond Green or a LaMarcus Aldridge.

Blake Holfman is just one of the thousands out there every day, hustling and playing the game they love.  One of Blake’s inspirations comes from Woody Harrelson’s character in White Men Can’t Jump, Billy Hoyle. When asked if he thought white men really couldn’t jump he chuckled and said, “Oh, we so can!”

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Author: Colonmichael2020

Writer, comedian, barista and someone who takes time out his day to bring you things I find important. BE GONE FROM MY PRESENCE!

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