South Wedge Easter Egg Hunt Took A Terrible Turn When All The Eggs Hatched In Unison.

 

Rochester,NY- “We wanted our kids to have fun for Easter but also use this as a teaching moment about animal cruelty and the disgusting practice of factory farming” said Dawson Kreek father of Egg Hunters Bracken, Auden, and Fenton. “But then the eggs starting hatching and we, pardon the pun, all have egg on our face. Our children think we’re monsters.”

 

It wasn’t too soon after the official egg hunt whistle blew that all of the slightly hidden easter eggs started hatching. Soon the streets of the South Wedge were filled with new-born chicks. But since the eggs had been half boiled and dyed per the Easter tradition, the majority of chicks were born heavily deformed and dyed bright colors.

 

The South Wedge Family Counseling Service has made themselves available for any child suffering from PTCD (post traumatic chick dysmorphia).

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Child Finds Dirty Needle during Charlotte Beach Easter Egg Hunt

Rochester, NY- Panic struck a family friendly event today.  At the annual Charlotte Beach Easter Egg Hunt, a child found an apparently used hypodermic needle in the sand. A story that normally would shock most has had a bit of a strange reaction from the public.  Mayor of Charlotte Beach (as decided by his dominate number of check-ins on Foursquare), Scott Herman, commented on the story, saying “that’s not even close to the worse thing we have found.”

In years past the Easter Egg Hunt has been a family friendly event but each year it is ruined by the discovery of some sort of contraband. “Nothing was worse than the 2008 hunt,” said Foursquare Mayor Herman. “That was the year we found all that evidence from the Alphabet Killings.” Some of the other things included in their findings over the years include; a disposable Kodak camera with tasteful nudes of former Mayor Bob Duffy on it, a human hand holding a knife and two people having sex dressed as Red Wing’s mascots Spikes and Mittsy.

The police are still trying to figure out whether or not the child who found the needle didn’t plant it there himself. Law enforcement officials say, “Kids of all ages are getting into smack now a days, that kid could have just gotten all juiced up and stashed it to hide the evidence.

Mayor Herman tells us that he hopes the findings don’t deter people from participating for years to come.  “That is the fun of an Easter Egg Hunt. You never know what you’re going to find!” says Herman.  “It’s like searching for a piece of history!”